whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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