she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
