butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
