just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
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