Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
