i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
