i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
