I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
