I just cut my nipple shaving
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
