Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize