If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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