operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Come see our sink grown plant.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
