that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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