So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
