We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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