Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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