Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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