so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
