dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
