Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
