I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize