I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
