had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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