Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
