My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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