As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
