So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
