Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Green mimosas i think yes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
