Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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