I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
