Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
