when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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