Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
