You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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