He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she looked like the before picture.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
