i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
