he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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