Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
