i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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