so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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