Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
