It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize