how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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