I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
