If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize