So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
