I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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