oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
