Don't you send me to vm
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
