We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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