just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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