whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
