He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize