That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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