stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
