I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
