she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
