So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
