i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
