Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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